Learning to Speak Western Australian

Tonight H and I went to dinner with a few of H’s colleagues and some of their assorted friends. The dinner worked out to be half Americans and half Western Australians, born and bred. I think I’m starting to notice a trend of Western Australians who stay local for life. Anyway over Sangria and Mexican food, I learned to speak Western Australian according to R:

Rule 1: Add an “O” to words that end in consonants. Tom would become TomO, beer would become beerO, right would become rightO etc.

Rule 2: Add a “S” or “Z” to words that end in vowels. I’m not quite sure if the correct letter is a “S” or “Z” but the sound is similar regardless. For example, Julia would become Julz, bananas would become bananz, etc.

Rule 3: There are always exceptions to the rules. For example, breakfast is “brekky,” umbrella is “brelly,” and train station (I was told to never say rail station, not that I would) is “trainneh.”

Rule 4: St. George’s Terrace, one of the main business streets in the Commercial Business District of Perth is simply called The Terrace.

I also learned how to dress Western Australian. This involves going out to dinner with a beer cozy aka Stubby Holder with the bottom cut out worn as a bracelet. Obviously this would get removed to go around the beers you order at the restaurant/bar/club. You never want to run the risk of having a warm beer. As the Boy Scouts of America say, Be Prepared!

In exchange for my lesson on WA, I shared some of my Arabic knowledge with our new friends:

MamSir: How imported restaurant and mall workers, mainly from the Philippines, address Western clients.

In’Shallah: Direct translation: g-d willing. Actual Meaning: It’s not going to happen. Sorry what’s that? It needs to happen? Well, g-d willing it would but the likelihood of it happening? Maybe when pigs fly over the Middle East.

Road Shoulder/Sidewalk: Extra lane to drive in.

Roundabout: Full speed ahead, no need to slow down. Red light? Ditto.

Shukran: Thank you. Rarely heard.

Sauce: Salad dressing.

Really Hot: The air conditioning is only turned to 20° C