Taxi, Taxi

Cabbies in Perth don’t like night fares in Perth because they fear getting glassed or not paid.  Women in Perth don’t like late night taxis in Perth because they fear getting sexually assaulted.  My friend doesn’t like cabbies in Perth because after politely turning down a date with her 60+ year old driver, he said to her spitefully, “That’s fine then, go home to your pussy.  I mean your cat, your pussy cat.”  Next time she might refuse those last few drinks which make her talkative enough to share her life with the cab driver, including pictures of the true love of her life, her very spoiled, overly well fed kitten.

Looks Can be Deceiving

My boss is a wonderful person; she works hard but understands and promotes a work/life balance.  She likes to have fun but not too much fun.  When we got out for drinks after work, she closes down the tab after one (or two very quick) drinks.  She dyes her hair blonde but it's a shade that's more gray than sun kissed.  She's young and thin but wears conservative slacks and orthopedic shoes.  I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that she's nice but conservative.  Which is why the turn the conversation took at drinks on Friday was all the more surprising.

One of my anonymous colleagues is getting married next month in his home country, India.  Halfway through her drink, my boss asked, "Are you having an arranged marriage?"  Anonymous Colleague responded, "Yes, it is, but I really like my fiancee and we spend hours talking to each other on the phone every week."  My boss then asked if his phone calls need to be chaperoned to which Anonymous Colleague gave her a kind of weird look and responded that, "no, they do not."  And then my very conservative looking boss blurted out,

"So phone sex is ok then?"

My jaw dropped, Anonymous Colleague's jaw dropped and everybody else in the group just stopped and looked at her.  Someone gave a nervous chuckle and turned the conversation to the next test match being played at the local cricket stadium, WACA.

The surprises didn't stop there though.  I went to refresh my drink at the bar and one of my other colleagues came over.  "That was awkward," I said to her.  To which she responded, "Yes, but I'm not as surprised as I once might have been.  Before I went to Budapest, Anonymous Boss lent me a book that she said I had to read before I went because it takes place there.  I started reading it and it was like soft core pornography."  I really hope she doesn't get me in our office Secret Santa; the gift might be x-rated.

Thanksgiving Countdown

I have a friend who once told me that she liked Perth because it was like being in the U.S.  I can see her point with that most days but today I beg to differ.  I just called the butcher to confirm that my turkey would be ready for pick-up on Saturday and that it will be frozen.  He didn’t even need to ask my name, he just said yes, that they would be getting it in on Friday mid-day.  I guess I’m the only one in the area who ordered a turkey for Thanksgiving? 

I know it’s a little early to pick-up a turkey the Saturday before Thanksgiving but the butcher is only open from 9-5 Monday through Saturday and it takes me forty minutes to get there from my office.

Additional things that remind me that I’m not in the U.S. this Thanksgiving:

• Our $10 a can pumpkin puree from David Jones’ food hall.  The pumpkin pie and bread will be worth every cent.
• 26 - 30° Celsius weather and the fact that I’m sharing the weather in Celsius.
• Thursday, November 24^th being a normal work day.  It looks like H and I will be eating our Thanksgiving feast very, very late at night.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving from down under!   As late as H and I may eat on Thursday, our dinner will still be finished before any turkeys hit the oven in the U.S.