A Day in the Life of H

Due to lack of planning or lack of qualified people or lack of Australians with any sort of work ethic, H had to jump from one job site to another job site on the other side of the country in under 24 hours.  Australia still has some rather remote areas so it is not a trivial trip to do in one day.  

To get to the nearest airport from his first job site, H arranged for a cab to meet him on the side of the highway.  To get to the highway H begged a ride off a cook from the trailer camp that was set up as ‘housing’ at his first job site.  The cook dropped him off on the side of a dirt "highway".  Fortunately after a few minutes, a camper van from a local Taxi/Tour/Courier/Excursion company showed up and took him on a two hour pre-dawn drive to the nearest airport.  Now I use the term "airport" fairly loosely, this place is more accurately described to most urbanites as a runway with a small building next to it.  H told me that it's not the smallest airport building he has ever seen (that honor belongs to an airport in Kazakhstan that he describes as having the same size and decor as a ski rental shack).  However this airport lacked one crucial feature, security.  Due to a bit of an exhausted mental haze, H didn't think much of it at the time, but when the flight landed and he strolled into the security area of the Perth airport, and got stopped due to a large wrench in his briefcase, he realized he hadn't cleared any security at his first airport of the day.  

The second flight of the day was your standard run-of-the-mill cross-country flight, and following that was a taxi ride to the train station.  Because of the late hour of H's arrival, there were no more trains that night to his destination, so he took a train to a nearby town and was going to catch a cab from there.  However when H went to the train platform there was only a single train car there.  Apparently the train was only to be one car long (for a two and half hour trip).  Shortly after the single car pulled away from the station, an announcement came over the speaker of the car that due to construction work on the tracks, the service would only go about half way to the station, and the rest of the service would consist of a "road coach" (bus).  

After traveling to the end of the tracks and getting on the bus, H had drifted off to sleep, only to wake up with the bus stopped on the side of the road.  The driver was talking on his two-way radio asking dispatch to clarify what type of blood they were looking for.  Apparently someone had put the local hospital's blood transfusion supply on the train, and when the train came to the end of the tracks, no-one checked which bus it was put on.  So H sat on the side of the motorway for about half an hour while the bus driver crawled all over the bus trying to locate the missing blood.  After being unable to locate it they were on their way again.   Finally they arrived at the station about an hour late.  Fortunately the taxi driver H had called to pick him up was still there.  

As they drove the last leg of the journey H was just about to drift off to sleep in the cab as the obese male cabby started talking.  "You know, I got me a pretty good side business I sell things on E-Bay" he continued, " I buy outfits for dogs from wholesalers and then I resell them on E-Bay."  He proceeded to explain the inner workings of reselling dog clothes on e-bay.  "You have to cater to people who want to make dog's part of their events.  Want your dog in your wedding?  I have a package for that, bridesmaid dress or groomsmen's suit, you choose.  Want to take your dog out in the rain, I've got raincoats and boots."

After a lesson in reselling on e-bay, H finally arrived at the hotel for the night from which he would go to the job site the next morning/four hours later.  No one seemed to notice H’s arrival because the next morning, the hotel called H's company and told them he had not checked in.  This raised some concern among the staff at H’s company, however they later admitted that they didn't even know where to start looking if he was lost...."besides" he was told, "you survived worse places..we knew you could take care of yourself in Australia."

God Save the Queen

Today I decided to go wine shopping, specifically sparkling wine shopping.  H is away working and I thought that wine shopping would be a good activity to take advantage of not being in the Middle East.  First off, I walked to the wine store and walking anywhere in Qatar was nearly impossible due to the lack of sidewalks, the heat, and the insane drivers, many of whom would actually speed up on the rare occasion that they saw a pedestrian or cyclist crossing the road in front of them.  Secondly, I can actually buy wine here.  In Qatar there was one liquor store which you needed a license to shop at and our license was in H's name.  Thus wine shopping was an activity I couldn't do alone.

After breakfast this morning I set out in beautiful, sunny, 70° spring winter weather for the wine store.  And what did I find?

Queen Adelaide Sparkling Wine.  I had to get it.  I've found that Australians are on occasion more nostalgic for all things British than actual British people are and this wine exemplifies that.  Google Queen Adelaide and you'll find that she is best remembered in Australia, specifically Southern Australia, which was founded during the brief reign of her husband, King William IV, and where the capital city of Adelaide is named after her.  You'll also find that once his marriage to Adelaide was arranged, the future King wrote to one of his 10 illegitimate children that, "Adelaide is doomed, poor dear innocent young creature, to be my wife."  Tell me, is this really something to toast to?

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Multiple colleagues have asked me about American Football.  Not being a huge fan myself, I understand their thoughts that it's not the most fascinating sport in the world to watch.  However, I don't understand their declaration that American Football players are wusses for wearing helmets and pads.  All  I can say is, have you not seen the uniforms for Aussie Rules Football?  Can their clothes be any tighter and can their shorts be any shorter?  And American Football players are wusses for wearing pads?

Don't Australians realize that such short shorts haven't been stylish in sports since the late 1970s/early 1980s?  Short shorts in sports have gone the way of acid washed jeans, permed hair, scrunchies, and shoulder pads.  Needless to say, in Western Australia, those things haven't gone very far.

Winter? In Perth

In Qatar, I always laughed at how in ‘wintertime’ when the temperature dipped below 100˚, people felt the need to dress like it was cold.  Out came the warm jackets (leather was extraordinarily popular), wool hats, sweaters, and scarves because obviously it gets a bit chilly when it’s only 80˚ or 90˚.  Granted in pre and post sunrise hours, it occasionally got a bit nippy, but winter apparel was worn all day, even during the peak heat of the middle of the afternoon.  And of course, the air conditioning was never turned off in houses, hotels, offices, shopping malls, or cars.  So while I was out sun bathing at the pool in a bathing suit in ‘winter,’ others would be going around town all bundled up and relaxing inside in air conditioning spaces, also all bundled up.

But I have been observing that the 'it’s time to wear warm clothes because the calendar says it’s winter but the thermometer says it’s 70˚' phenomenon, happens not just in the Middle East, but also in Western Australia! 

The official start of Perth’s winter (characterized in guide books as consisting of rainy days and mild temperatures) is June.  Already this week I have seen people out in wool coats, hats, gloves and scarves.  People at work are wearing turtlenecks and tweed and women are wearing heavy opaque stockings with their skirts.  And me?  Well, it feels like what I would classify as East Coast spring weather and except for the addition of a rain coat or umbrella, I'm still dressing in short sleeves, capris, and other appropriate spring apparel.  But please don't think I'm the only one out in the city in shorts.  Although in the MIddle East, people were at least consistent in their 'winter' weather wear, here in Perth, people seem to be a bit confused.  And I'm not talking confused in an Ugg boots and mini skirt combination way.  Because just this week, I have spied  the following weather contradiction wardrobes:

• Women in short sleeve shirts and gloves (winter gloves, not Michael Jackson break dancing gloves).  At first I noticed this trend on the bus, and thought people just didn't want to hold on barehanded, but then I started spotting this trend all over the streets of Perth.
• Men and women in shorts and winter jackets (wool and leather).  I really have nothing to say about this, I'm just confused.
• Women with scarves bundled around their heads like Russian baboushkas when it's 70˚ and sunny.  And generally, the rest of their outfits don't lend themselves to the it's frigid outside effect.

I wondered if people are just preemptively preparing themselves for winter but according to some colleagues, this is it.  Those I know who have grown up here are finding this 70˚ weather cold enough and are already itching for spring. I'll have to see how the next few months go, but it seems like H and I have been sent to another winter (as we know it)-free location.  But I'm left wondering, which is odder?  Wearing a full winter ensemble in warm weather or mixing and matching winter and summer apparel?  Western Australians, maybe you just want to help yourselves to another beer to warm up?