How [Not] to Prepare Your Travel Documents

It's amazing what comes up during the course of a normal dinner conversation in the world that H and I have found ourselves living in. The other night we were out to dinner with some friends and instead of the usual conversations around politics, the state of the financial markets and upcoming vacation plans, H and I learned how to accidentally bribe a government official.

One of our friends shared a story from a business trip he had taken to what I'll refer to as an anonymous banana republic gone sour under military rule. He disembarked from his flight, queued at customs and handed over his passport, in its case, to the customs' official. The customs' official thumbed through it for a few moments before stamping it and handing it back. The guy's boss went next and after the customs' official paged through his passport, he started grilling him with questions. Our friend took the twenty minute delay to check out his new passport stamp and found that A$50 that he had stuck in the back of his case, along with various frequent flier cards and other scraps of paper, was now gone. Apparently the cash, and not the appropriate visa, which his boss was also in possession of, had smoothed his entry into the country. A$50 will get you 90% of a case of beer, a steak dinner for one, lawn seats at a cricket match or a question free entry into an anonymous Latin American country. I wonder what else this admission fee includes.

Public Advisory Notice

This isn't uniquely Australian, like visible nipples and chest hair, but a few recent incidents have drawn the following to my attention.  While some people may feel that offices are full of glass ceilings, they're actually full of glass walls, at least mine is.  As such, it's very important to remember that glass walls are actually transparent and one should refrain from:

• nose picking
• wedgie picking
• changing clothes
• clipping toe nails / investigating foot fungus

from 'behind' glass walls or in glass enclosed offices.  People can actually see through the aforementioned glass and nobody wants to bear witness to any of the above.  We can see enough gross things on Embarrassing Bodies, another delightful product of British / Australian programming.