When 6 AM Becomes 5 AM

When I lived in Perth, I was astounded by the hostility related to daylight savings time.  I couldn't believe that people would object, let alone so vehemently, to an extra hour of sunshine in the evening, après work.  This morning, as I'm force feeding myself coffee, fighting bouts of exhaustion nausea, and trying to keep my eyes open, I finally get it.  Perth locals may not have been protesting the extra hour of daylight, they may have been rejecting losing the hour of sleep when the clocks changed over.  

Today's mantra will be short term pain for long term gain.  Or maybe I'll just pretend that I hopped on an airplane to someplace hot and lost an hour due to a geography related time change.  That's always easier to stomach.  Especially when March in the UK was colder than December, January and February for the first time since 1975.

Let Them Drink Tea?

H and I just passed through Charles De Gaulle and couldn't resist a large box of Ladurée macaroons to bring back with us to the UK.  Spotting "Marie Antoinette" among the seasonal flavors, we couldn't resist giving it a try.

Between its name and the vivid blue color, it seemed a bit unusual for Ladurée.  Atypically, we were unable to distinguish what the flavor was.  Using the color, name and sugary sweetness, we determined it must be cake batter flavored and chuckled over the historical links.

Sadly, when we got home, I did some research and learned that the Marie Antoinette macaroon is actually flavored with Marie Antoinette tea which is purportedly, "A dulcet marriage of Chinese black tea combined with rose petals, citrus fruit and honey.  A pastoral walk at the Petit Trianon.  A delicious afternoon tea for a sweet and romantic pause. All the spirit of Ladurée."

I love macaroons, and Ladurée's rose tea flavor is one of my favorites, but I personally think that Ladurée could have taken some inspiration from the below when choosing a flavor for Marie Antoinette...

Food for Thought

H and I recently spent a few hours in Denmark.  While there we shared a danish and pondered if eating a danish in Denmark made us cannibals?

Où Est Votre Bébé? AKA Dude Where's Your Baby?

A couple of weeks ago, while abroad, I met up with an old friend and her baby.  Given that we were in a nice city, instead of catching up at home, we took the city by storm and spent our days packed full of site-seeing and shopping.  At one point, my friend took her son into the restroom and I kept walking around with the stroller, which may or may not have been laden down with my shopping bags.  As I meandered around the site, another tourist stopped me and said,

"Pardon, où est votre bébé?"

"Umm, with his mother, my friend, in the bathroom."

Did you think I was stealing a stroller or that I forgot my child?  I'm not sure which is worse.

Only Me

Apparently it's possible to lose one's eyeglasses on an airplane.  I'm not talking about eyeglasses that have been carried on in a purse or carry-on bag; I'm talking about eyeglasses that are actually being worn on one's face.  A few hours into the first leg of our very long flight to our new location, I woke up 100% blind.  In my sleep, I had removed my eyeglasses and put them somewhere...

I quickly shook H awake and told him what happened.  H patted me down, patted himself down and then turned on the overhead light to investigate the whole area around our seats.  No luck.  He handed me my contacts so I could search too.  About 15 minutes later, I finally found my glasses under my seat.  I have no idea how they got there.  They were sandwiched between the feet of the person behind me and the bar of my chair.  H told me he's getting me rec specs for my birthday with a matching eyeglass chain for our next long haul flight.

I like this better for my birthday, I'm just saying:

How [Not] to Prepare Your Travel Documents

It's amazing what comes up during the course of a normal dinner conversation in the world that H and I have found ourselves living in. The other night we were out to dinner with some friends and instead of the usual conversations around politics, the state of the financial markets and upcoming vacation plans, H and I learned how to accidentally bribe a government official.

One of our friends shared a story from a business trip he had taken to what I'll refer to as an anonymous banana republic gone sour under military rule. He disembarked from his flight, queued at customs and handed over his passport, in its case, to the customs' official. The customs' official thumbed through it for a few moments before stamping it and handing it back. The guy's boss went next and after the customs' official paged through his passport, he started grilling him with questions. Our friend took the twenty minute delay to check out his new passport stamp and found that A$50 that he had stuck in the back of his case, along with various frequent flier cards and other scraps of paper, was now gone. Apparently the cash, and not the appropriate visa, which his boss was also in possession of, had smoothed his entry into the country. A$50 will get you 90% of a case of beer, a steak dinner for one, lawn seats at a cricket match or a question free entry into an anonymous Latin American country. I wonder what else this admission fee includes.

One Bad Apple and a Naughty Nut

Australia is extraordinarily focused on defending its borders against pests and diseases found elsewhere in the world and out-of-state.  Customs exist for both interstate and inter-country travel and customs dogs abound searching not just for drugs but also for contraband food.  The last time I was in the domestic airport, I picked up one of the below customs notices:

Turns out that it's just one in a series.  At least someone has a sense of humor...

One Bad Apple and a Naughty Nut

• "Next time you travel into Western Australia, plan your trip and supplies so that all your fruit and vegies go into your tummy instead of a bin!'

When Honey's Not So Sweet

• "Next time you travel into Western Australia, please don't bring honey or, if you do so accidentally, bin it or declare it.  Please consider our healthy, busy bees- you don't want to be the person responsible for turning their buzz off."

Hear It On the Grapevine

• "Please help us in protecting Western Australia by not carrying quarantine risk material- and we'll drink a toast to you."

Don't mess around with customs; you don't want to be like one of my friends who got pulled aside in customs in Australia for not declaring the shell necklace she was wearing.  She was served with an official notice and was told that she is now on some kind of customs watch list.

Just remember to declare or beware!

Only in Australia

My parents are coming to visit us in Australia and are in the process of planning their itinerary.  My Dad e-mailed a company about a snorkel trip:

Dear Anonymous Snorkel Company,

I am interested in booking a snorkel trip in December.  Can you please advise what the weather conditions are in December and what stinger suits are?

Thanks,

Anonymous Dad

The Anonymous Snorkel Company’s response:

Dear Anonymous Dad,

The conditions in December are lovely.  Stinger suits are lycra suits that we provide to keep you protected in the water from stingers. 

Looking forward to your booking,

Anonymous Snorkel Company

Looking forward to our booking?  Yeah right.  This is Australia, doesn’t anybody remember Steve Irwin?  Time to look into some land based activities.  Or perhaps snorkelling in a different body of water.

Dear Australia,

You are brilliant.

XOXO,

Anonymous Expat