For lunch today, H graciously packed me a container of leftover ziti, tomato sauce, cannellini beans, bread crumbs and a generous grating of mozzarella cheese. I took it to the kitchen at work to heat up and returned with the steaming container of carbohydrate goodness to my desk to eat. My Anonymous Officemate, who I have been unable to banish despite his three strikes, looked up from his desk with huge eyes to identify the source of the intoxicating smell. Seeing it was a hearty container full of pasta, he took the time to tell me about his severely limited carbohydrate intake since the first of the year. I was fortunate enough to learn that since January 1st, 2011, my properly sized, not fat officemate has:
- Eaten pasta for dinner once, as his Friday night ‘treat.’
- Not eaten any bread whatsoever.
- Eaten an eighth of a cup of bran with a large serving of nectarines, apricots and other fruit for breakfast everyday.
- Eaten a salad for lunch everyday; I big-heartedly refrained from warning him about the copious amounts of fat that might be lurking in his salad dressing.
- Eaten a baseball sized piece of protein for dinner every night and filled the rest of his plate with vegetables.
Thanks to this, he has lost two full kilos since the start of 2011, off of his already fit frame. I refrained from pointing out that he neglected to include his alcohol intake, the amount of full fat milk he consumes in his 3+ coffees per work day, or his consumption of an entire homemade Pavlova on Australia Day from his meticulously relayed food diary. I’m so nice, I know. I did however tell him that I had already eaten pasta twice this week and that one of those meals was homemade baked ziti pizza with sausage. I then proceeded to pull out my homemade chocolate chip cookie to await its last minutes before entering my mouth on my desk, in full tantalizing view of Anonymous Officemate. I’m sorry Anonymous Officemate, I have no imaginary extraneous weight to lose and I ♥ bread, pasta and chocolate.
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