Sometimes the Show is Weird and Sometimes it's Just Me

Living abroad means adapting to different languages, cultures, customs, food, etc.  I try to take advantage of each place we live or travel in to immerse myself in the unique local traditions.  For instance, in Australia  I have learned that:

• the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car
• I should drive on the wrong side of the road
• I should make left turns into near lanes and right turns into far lanes
• real Australians stay in the lane they eventually wish to turn in for the entire journey until they reach where they are actually turning, even if that lane is backed up for 20 km but the one next to it is moving freely
• beer o'clock is something to respect and be timely for
• button down shirts are incomplete without visible nipples and chest hair
• there is a reason why bars have signs that high visibility workwear is not acceptable after a certain hour because the vast majority of Western Australians wear high visibility workwear and arrive at beer o'clock in aforementioned apparel
• it's sinful to have leftover meat pies from morning tea
• it's odd to say that kangaroos are cute

Living in Qatar I learned that:

• I should leave my engine running when having my gas tank filled
• indicators are purely decorative and are in no way used or obeyed
• when entering a roundabout, one should drive as fast as one possibly can and take the opposite exit expected based on the lane one's car is in (i.e. make a u-turn from the left, outermost lane)
• saying that you don't drink is code for saying that you want your alcoholic beverage in a water glass
• giving your address based on landmarks is the norm 
• family day at the mall just means that entry is denied to non-Caucasian or Arab males unless they are in the company of their wives/mothers/sisters/daughters

In addition to learning about local culture from my day to day experiences and interactions, I also like to get a feel for the country that I'm in based on the local television programming.  You've already read about the joys of Border Patrol and RBT.   I'm also excited to announce that Kalgoorlie Cops will soon be airing, the "highly anticipated, exclusive Australian production that depicts the trials and tribulations of law enforcement in a renowned city of Kalgoorlie, the size of France, just without the people!  There's never a dull moment for Kalgoorlie's cops as they patrol the legendary mining town that is infamous for money, murder, miners, gold-theft, crooks, outlaw bikers, ladies of the night as well as Friday night altercations at the local watering hole."  

I swear I'm not spoofing you, that's the actual (non April fools) blurb from the MultiChannelNetwork.  But for an apples to apples comparison, I'd like to share my Qatari gym TV program schedule versus my Perth gym TV program schedule.  While at the gym in Qatar, I watched MTV Arabia as it repeated its three hour cycle of extraordinarily old shows, including The Ashlee Simpson Show, everyday for a minimum one week period.  It didn't really teach me about local culture except maybe that local television exposure to global pop culture was seriously outdated.  When we moved and lost our handful of free TV channels at the gym (including French news, Italian news, and MTV Arabia), I began watching some kind of Arab talk show, with women in burkas and niqabs who sounded quite serious.  As the show didn't have subtitles, I'm not quite sure what their discourse covered.  Perhaps we can just say that I learned about some varieties of local fashion?

In Perth, my after work gym show of choice is Letters and Numbers.  It's a show where two contestants compete in rounds of letters and numbers.  In the letter rounds they each try to spell the longest word possible with the nine given letters in a limited period of time and in the number rounds they each try to use the numbers given to reach the computer generated goal number, also in a limited period of time.  I admit, it's a really weird choice for the gym.  Let's just say that I'm so focused on solving each challenge that I don't notice the time flying by on the treadmill.  One day I'll probably fly right off the treadmill trying to multiply large numbers or use all of the letters to build a word.  In the meantime, I'll just ponder what the gym attendant thinks when he hears this show blasting out of the cardio room.