Dear H,
Since moving from Perth, I've added a few alternative options to my birthday wish list. While I appreciate the caring motivation behind the desire to get me rec specs, I would much prefer something else. For years, I've wanted a puppy, but now that we live in the United Kingdom, I would also take a hairy coo:
More specifically, I would love a baby hairy coo:
I still have an outstanding desire for a mercenary, but given our current location, I would happily accept a butler. One that has good connections to get us into castles and distilleries in the winter season and who is an expert at pouring tea would be preferred. I know just the person if you can persuade him to come work for us. I would also greatly appreciate it if the butler was able to make the meager heating systems here warm our house. For some reason British people think that heating a piece of metal in the corner of a room will warm a whole house, trust me it doesn't.
While they may fail on the radiator front, Brits definitely get an A+ for their seemingly widespread use of heated towel racks. This falls into the future birthday category (don't worry, I'll still be turning 26), but I would really love to have heated towel racks in all future homes.
Don't worry H, I haven't forgotten about you. For your birthday I'm getting you the top item on your list, a pair of dictator sunglasses. Putin has them, Gaddafi had them, now you can have them. Might I suggest that you consider adding a white Toyota Hilux to your birthday wish list to compliment them?
Love,
Anonymous Expat
Since moving from Perth, I've added a few alternative options to my birthday wish list. While I appreciate the caring motivation behind the desire to get me rec specs, I would much prefer something else. For years, I've wanted a puppy, but now that we live in the United Kingdom, I would also take a hairy coo:
More specifically, I would love a baby hairy coo:
I still have an outstanding desire for a mercenary, but given our current location, I would happily accept a butler. One that has good connections to get us into castles and distilleries in the winter season and who is an expert at pouring tea would be preferred. I know just the person if you can persuade him to come work for us. I would also greatly appreciate it if the butler was able to make the meager heating systems here warm our house. For some reason British people think that heating a piece of metal in the corner of a room will warm a whole house, trust me it doesn't.
While they may fail on the radiator front, Brits definitely get an A+ for their seemingly widespread use of heated towel racks. This falls into the future birthday category (don't worry, I'll still be turning 26), but I would really love to have heated towel racks in all future homes.
Don't worry H, I haven't forgotten about you. For your birthday I'm getting you the top item on your list, a pair of dictator sunglasses. Putin has them, Gaddafi had them, now you can have them. Might I suggest that you consider adding a white Toyota Hilux to your birthday wish list to compliment them?
Love,
Anonymous Expat
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