I Don't Think I Woke Up Back in the Middle East, Did I?

While there may be some positive things about the United Kingdom that remind me of my time living in the Middle East (i.e. late night grocery shopping, kebab shops, Nando's), today I had my first wtf, are you sure I've escaped Doha moment?  Last weekend, I ordered an iron online from Debenhams.  I know, very exciting; I think I might actually be getting closer to 30.  Anyway, given that my wallet was across the room and H was sitting next to me with his wallet conveniently located in his pocket, I used his credit card to place the order.  The prescribed order confirmation timeline had passed so this morning I called Debenhams to check on the status of the order.

Upon request, I provided the customer service representative with:

• The confirmation number, "Great, thank you miss."
• Delivery destination, "Yes, thank you." 
• E-mail address, "Great."
• Name the order was placed under, "Excuse me, may I please speak with your husband?"

"Umm, pardon?"  

"I need to speak with your husband as the order is in his name."

"I have all the information and I actually placed the order; the confirmation is going to my e-mail address."

"I'm sorry miss but I can't discuss any details of the order with you."

"You realize that w're talking about an iron, right?"

"I'm sorry but the order is in your husband's name."

Ok, last time I use H's credit card instead getting up off my lazy butt to get my purse.  What did this guy think?  That I had hacked someone else's e-mail account, found an outstanding order for an iron, and called to find out when they were planning on delivering it to the address on the order?

Wow, maybe I'm missing something (like the iron came with a free person to iron everything, or better yet, a butler) but given that I had all of the order details, refusing to update me with the order status seemed a little extreme.  Sorry H, but you're going to have to add calling Debenhams to the bottom of your million item long to-do list.

While you're at it, maybe you can also do the following:

• Pre-emptively give me written permission to drive in the United Kingdom.
• Order me a sweatshirt that says, "Don't worry, my husband allows me to go outside without a headscarf/burqa/niqab."
• Write me a permission slip for buying Winter Pimm's, Baltika and Savanna Dry.  It can read something like, yes, these items are within my wife's 'allowance' and she is over 18.
• Hire a butler.  Whoops, sorry, I don't know how that line item slipped in.

Many thanks!

Celebrating One Year in Perth

As we are celebrating our one year anniversary of living in Australia, I feel like I’m detached enough from the crappy things about living in Qatar to assemble a Qatar Top Five list:

• Thai Snack and Massage:  Thai restaurant, massage parlour, Thai karaoke and late night skype calls to the Motherland rolled up into one, what could possibly be bad?  Best Thai food in the world Middle East and while I may have felt slightly sticky after eating there, it was hands down my favorite restaurant in Doha.
• Qatari gas stations: ~$12 to fill my tank and someone to do it for me, need I say more?  Leaving the car and air conditioning running while my tank was getting filled did take some getting used to but I managed.
• Exciting Surprise Glitter Game:  On occasion, after using the restroom at work, I would reach to turn on the faucet to wash my hands and notice that they were covered in glitter.  Where did this glitter come from you might ask?  Drum roll please…glitter toilet paper!  I kid you not.
• Being able to shop (food, clothes, etc.) until 11:00 PM and sit down to dinner after 9:00 PM.  Working full-time does not allow me time to get to the shops in Perth before they close at 5:00 PM.  Our refrigerator has never looked so sparse.

Wait, that was only a top four list.  Ok, instead of struggling for a fifth item to fill the list, I’ll replace number five by sharing a few things that Qatar beats Australia on:

• Living in a rental that was ours to do what we pleased in until we handed back the keys versus our rental in Perth that is inspected every three months for cleanliness.  We must have a totally OCD realtor because our spotless (even by Anonymous Mother’s standards) apartment has gotten the following write-ups:
• Living room looks cluttered.  Well, Anonymous Realtor, you rented us a furnished apartment and we left the furniture exactly where you put it.  Did the addition of two books and a laptop to the coffee table upset the feng shui of the room?  You’re welcome to send an interior designer to rearrange the microsuede and pleather furniture.
• Too many bottles of water on kitchen counters.  Two bottles of water for two people, apologies.
• Picture hanging in office does not hang parallel to floor.  Wow, let me get out my balance.  Oh wait, I don’t have one, we moved here in suitcases.
• Nando’s: Nando’s Australia just isn’t the same as Nando’s in the Middle East.  I can’t help but continue to look for the lentil soup, hummus and chicken strips and spicy rice that are not on the menu here.
• Shawarma with tahini, and better yet garlic tahini.  Australian kebab shops have mayonnaise which firstly is not a comparable substitute for tahini and secondly is as low on my ‘foods I can’t stand list’ as tuna fish.
• Restaurants where one can eat for less than $25 per person.
• People in stores/restaurants who actually acknowledge that it is their job to help you and attempt to do so.
• Stores with nice brands of clothing and accessories.
• Tax free living versus the only thing left to tax me for is the air I’m breathing living.
• Heliports in the city (Doha) versus 2-12 hours away (Perth).

Next year I’ll work on a Perth Top Five list; it’s guaranteed to include convicts and kangaroos.  Can’t wait, can you?