Leaving on a [Many] Jet Plane[s]

H and I are saying hooroo to Australia and moving on to our next home overseas.  This means that I'll have to catch-up on my severe backlog of Australia postings from someplace other than Australia.  It also means that I get to play excited bathroom game in the Dubai Airport.  Excited bathroom game involves guessing what's behind each stall door: toilet or squat hole.

Full points are given for a correct blind guess and 75% of points are awarded for a correct guess based on observing who is exiting the stalls.  Half points are awarded based on observing who is entering the stalls as a lot of times Westerners will reveal the squat locations by gasping and shaking their heads when they push open the stall door, resuming their place in the queue to wait for the next available stall, or simply saying, "this is gross."

Another fun area of play for excited bathroom game is seeing just how many women will emerge from a single squat stall at one time.  I'm not quite sure what they all do in their together.  Maybe assist with holding up one another's voluminous burkas?

Thank goodness we have an eleven hour layover.  I couldn't bear to have a limited timeframe to play in.

So toodaloo kangaroos, I'll check-in once I arrive on the other side of the globe...literally.

Celebrating One Year in Perth

As we are celebrating our one year anniversary of living in Australia, I feel like I’m detached enough from the crappy things about living in Qatar to assemble a Qatar Top Five list:

• Thai Snack and Massage:  Thai restaurant, massage parlour, Thai karaoke and late night skype calls to the Motherland rolled up into one, what could possibly be bad?  Best Thai food in the world Middle East and while I may have felt slightly sticky after eating there, it was hands down my favorite restaurant in Doha.
• Qatari gas stations: ~$12 to fill my tank and someone to do it for me, need I say more?  Leaving the car and air conditioning running while my tank was getting filled did take some getting used to but I managed.
• Exciting Surprise Glitter Game:  On occasion, after using the restroom at work, I would reach to turn on the faucet to wash my hands and notice that they were covered in glitter.  Where did this glitter come from you might ask?  Drum roll please…glitter toilet paper!  I kid you not.
• Being able to shop (food, clothes, etc.) until 11:00 PM and sit down to dinner after 9:00 PM.  Working full-time does not allow me time to get to the shops in Perth before they close at 5:00 PM.  Our refrigerator has never looked so sparse.

Wait, that was only a top four list.  Ok, instead of struggling for a fifth item to fill the list, I’ll replace number five by sharing a few things that Qatar beats Australia on:

• Living in a rental that was ours to do what we pleased in until we handed back the keys versus our rental in Perth that is inspected every three months for cleanliness.  We must have a totally OCD realtor because our spotless (even by Anonymous Mother’s standards) apartment has gotten the following write-ups:
• Living room looks cluttered.  Well, Anonymous Realtor, you rented us a furnished apartment and we left the furniture exactly where you put it.  Did the addition of two books and a laptop to the coffee table upset the feng shui of the room?  You’re welcome to send an interior designer to rearrange the microsuede and pleather furniture.
• Too many bottles of water on kitchen counters.  Two bottles of water for two people, apologies.
• Picture hanging in office does not hang parallel to floor.  Wow, let me get out my balance.  Oh wait, I don’t have one, we moved here in suitcases.
• Nando’s: Nando’s Australia just isn’t the same as Nando’s in the Middle East.  I can’t help but continue to look for the lentil soup, hummus and chicken strips and spicy rice that are not on the menu here.
• Shawarma with tahini, and better yet garlic tahini.  Australian kebab shops have mayonnaise which firstly is not a comparable substitute for tahini and secondly is as low on my ‘foods I can’t stand list’ as tuna fish.
• Restaurants where one can eat for less than $25 per person.
• People in stores/restaurants who actually acknowledge that it is their job to help you and attempt to do so.
• Stores with nice brands of clothing and accessories.
• Tax free living versus the only thing left to tax me for is the air I’m breathing living.
• Heliports in the city (Doha) versus 2-12 hours away (Perth).

Next year I’ll work on a Perth Top Five list; it’s guaranteed to include convicts and kangaroos.  Can’t wait, can you?

Aloha Australia

My Mom arrived in Perth and is busy taking in all of the Western Australian sights.  She is:

• Counting the number of visible nipples through men’s button down dress shirts
• Marvelling over the variety of choices in high visibility workwear
• Being in awe about the high frequency of occurrence of viewing high visibility workwear in all types of places including so-called nice restaurants
• Being amazed that beer o’clock is actually every o’clock
• Exclaiming over the cost of everything in WA; did someone say $12 pre-packaged sandwiches, $20+ sit-down lunches and $7 coffees?
• Learning about, watching and enjoying Junior MasterChef; not yet enjoying the viewing pleasure of RBT and Border Security
• Noticing the frequency of shark spotting in the news

She has already decided that she is:

• Not setting foot in any body of water except an enclosed pool
• Not purchasing any clothes in Australia
• Not eating kangaroo

I’ll have to see if I can talk her out of any of the above.  After all, she will be visiting the Great Barrier Reef.  Still to come is some real Australian wildlife viewing and I am not talking about the kind that involves barefoot people in public spaces including malls, restaurants and bathrooms or large men in very short high visibility shorts with high visibility knee socks.  I’m thinking more along the lines of kangaroos, koalas and quokkas.  And maybe somewhere along the way we’ll squeeze in a meat pie tasting along with enjoying the local wines.  

Kangaroo Crossing

I have endless stories to post about my visit to site earlier in the week once I recover from my 4:00AM departure to the airport.  In the meantime, I'll leave you with this snippet from the trip:

Manager (M) driving the totally pimped out rental SUV (flashing light, flag, and snorkel) down the absolutely empty, 100% straight road through the outback:  Have you seen any kangaroos yet?

Me:  Only in the zoo; I'm waiting to see one in the wild.  Although C (my colleague who was sleeping sitting in the backseat) told me that he ran over a huge kangaroo last weekend.  Or rather, that he ran over a huge kangaroo that the car in front of him had hit and then run over.

M: Yeah, 'roos are pretty stupid.  They'll hop into your parked car.  There are a ton around here though.  When I was living out here I hit three in one night.

Me:  Three?  I would have abandoned my car and walked after hitting the second one.  Wait a second, why are you the one who is driving with that kind of a track record?

My company is so obsessed with safety that I can't drive a rental car on site visits until I complete a safe driving course and learn to drive a manual, but M is deemed fit to drive with a track record of hitting three kangaroos in a single night.  And did I mention that he didn't realize the car had a sixth gear until he tried to reverse it about three hours after starting our drive?  Good thing I was decked out in head to toe PPE.  And I have to laugh because Western Australia might not have any semblance of style or designer brands but I was given Bollé safety glasses for my trip.  H might have been slightly jealous when he saw them.  I know what someone is getting for his birthday...