To Add Insult to Injury

Dear Cleaning Crew,

Thank you very much for packing up all of the supplies that the repairmen left in our flat.  Having the drop cloths, pieces of pipe, dirty rags and other various bits and bobs wrapped up for pick-up or the bin is very nice.  Having my Ugg Boots included in the trash pile, not so nice.

I know I have big feet, I know that they're a bit dirty from my latest hike in the glorious wet British weather we've been having, but these are most certainly not work or workman's boots.

Needless to say, I'm confused why you selected these when we actually did have about half a dozen pairs of these in the very same area of the flat:


 Sadly those also belong to us.

Thanks and Regards,
Anonymous Expat

Dirty PPE, Dirty Minds

Guys who spend the majority of their time around guys, or women who look like guys, really can’t get their minds out of the gutter.

I told Anonymous Friend that I got a new harness and that we really needed to go try it out one night.

His jaw dropped and his eyes lit up while his brand new girlfriend gave me a huge stink eye.

Seriously Anonymous Friend?  Do you not remember H, the guy twice your size with whom you spend a huge amount of your waking hours?  You know, the guy who I’m very happily married to?

Obviously next time I need to specify that my new harness is one of these:

for rock climbing.  You know, the activity that H and I do with Anonymous Friend on a weekly basis. 

Not one of these:

 

Maybe Anonymous Friend can try that kind of harness out with his new girlfriend.  But please leave me out of it.

He Did What???

I completely understand the focus on safety in natural resources industries.  It’s a dangerous business and constant vigilance is necessary.  Being office rather than field based, I’m often subjected to the oddities that result from this culture.  Sitting at a desk rather than on a rig or in a pit means that the heaviest machinery I come in contact with is the car or bus on my commute to and from work, my keyboard and my calculator.  Unlike our field counterparts who have safety shares involving possible life or death situations, or severe injury at the very least, my co-workers and I talk about the ‘danger’ of knives in the kitchen, light bulbs out in the stairwell and tripping hazards from open desk drawers and purses left on the floor.

Today’s safety share, based on an actual recorded injury in the office, takes the cake though.  An anonymous colleague got a paper cut in his eye when removing a poster from the wall.  No joke.  We’ve been advised to consider wearing safety glasses when posting or removing papers from walls.  I’m contemplating hanging this by the copy machine: