He Did What???

I completely understand the focus on safety in natural resources industries.  It’s a dangerous business and constant vigilance is necessary.  Being office rather than field based, I’m often subjected to the oddities that result from this culture.  Sitting at a desk rather than on a rig or in a pit means that the heaviest machinery I come in contact with is the car or bus on my commute to and from work, my keyboard and my calculator.  Unlike our field counterparts who have safety shares involving possible life or death situations, or severe injury at the very least, my co-workers and I talk about the ‘danger’ of knives in the kitchen, light bulbs out in the stairwell and tripping hazards from open desk drawers and purses left on the floor.

Today’s safety share, based on an actual recorded injury in the office, takes the cake though.  An anonymous colleague got a paper cut in his eye when removing a poster from the wall.  No joke.  We’ve been advised to consider wearing safety glasses when posting or removing papers from walls.  I’m contemplating hanging this by the copy machine:

Steel Toe Boots, Safety Glasses and Silicone Implants

A health and safety e-mail was circulated at work today on snake awareness.  It provided images of common snakes found in the work environs, what to do if you see a snake, what to do if you’re bitten by a snake, and various snake alert hotlines to call.*

I briefly contemplated forwarding a link to the below news article on the Israeli model who walked away relatively unharmed from a snake bite courtesy of her silicone implants:

"[Update] Snake Dies of Silicone Poisoning After Biting Model's Fake Breast 

It was another trip to the Garden of Eden cut short for one legless reptile.  Israeli model Orit Fox was attempting to lick a snake during a publicity stunt for radio DJ Shmulik Tavar when the lucky serpent, presumably aroused, lunged forward and bit Fox's fake breast, sending witnesses into a frenzy.

Fox, who is rumored to have the largest bosom in all of Israel, was hurried to a hospital outside Jerusalem where she received a tetanus shot and was later discharged. 

As for the snake, puckering up with a supermodel proved to be the kiss of death. The creature succumbed to silicone poisoning shortly after the incident.

Update: It appears that AOL Weird News was snake-bitten along with other major news organizations. Reports now indicate that the snake that bit model Orit Fox's breast did not die of silicon poisoning.

A video of the bite was posted on the gossip blog Oh No They Didn't on March 3, followed by the quip: "The snake later died from silicone poisoning."

That statement -- presumably posted in jest -- was then reported as a fact in publications around the world. But animal experts now say it's impossible that the snake died of silicon poisoning, mainly because snakes don't suck blood when they bite.

"Snakes can eat some really sick animals and not contract mammalian diseases. So I have not heard of a snake getting sick or dying after biting a human," Mark Kilby, owner of the Luray Zoo and Luray Reptile Center, told Life's Little Mysteries. 

"I can't see the boa constrictor that bit that model getting any of the contents of the material from the implant, being silicone or saline, in its mouth to cause any ill effect to the boa."

It's unclear what -- if anything -- killed the snake, though sources told Discover Magazine that the snake might have perished when it was yanked off of Fox's chest.

We apologize for the mistake and would like to assure our readers that we never intend to peddle in snake oil."
Courtesy of AOL News

Who would have known that breast implants can form a useful part of one’s PPE, along with steel toe boots, hard hats, flame retardant pants (preferably low rise and boot cut) and safety goggles?  It seems like Chavez should stop trash talking breast implants.  Safety first!

*Courtesy of the health and safety bulletin, I found a new job opportunity to go along with Waggyl Watching, Marine Mammal Observer and Native Animals Who Have Been Mortally Injured by Heavy Mortal Equipment Killer with Rocks: registered snake catcher.  

Kangaroo Crossing

I have endless stories to post about my visit to site earlier in the week once I recover from my 4:00AM departure to the airport.  In the meantime, I'll leave you with this snippet from the trip:

Manager (M) driving the totally pimped out rental SUV (flashing light, flag, and snorkel) down the absolutely empty, 100% straight road through the outback:  Have you seen any kangaroos yet?

Me:  Only in the zoo; I'm waiting to see one in the wild.  Although C (my colleague who was sleeping sitting in the backseat) told me that he ran over a huge kangaroo last weekend.  Or rather, that he ran over a huge kangaroo that the car in front of him had hit and then run over.

M: Yeah, 'roos are pretty stupid.  They'll hop into your parked car.  There are a ton around here though.  When I was living out here I hit three in one night.

Me:  Three?  I would have abandoned my car and walked after hitting the second one.  Wait a second, why are you the one who is driving with that kind of a track record?

My company is so obsessed with safety that I can't drive a rental car on site visits until I complete a safe driving course and learn to drive a manual, but M is deemed fit to drive with a track record of hitting three kangaroos in a single night.  And did I mention that he didn't realize the car had a sixth gear until he tried to reverse it about three hours after starting our drive?  Good thing I was decked out in head to toe PPE.  And I have to laugh because Western Australia might not have any semblance of style or designer brands but I was given Bollé safety glasses for my trip.  H might have been slightly jealous when he saw them.  I know what someone is getting for his birthday...