How Was Your Weekend?

After almost a year in Perth, I’m starting to notice a trend in typical responses to the recurring Monday morning question of “how was your weekend?”  Please tell me if there is anywhere else in the world (apart from college campuses) where the responses would be as aligned towards over imbibing and hangovers as today’s responses were to my polite queries about my colleagues’ weekends.  Keep in mind that the average age of my colleagues is closer to 40 than 30…

• “Well, I had a few too many beers on Friday so I spent the rest of the weekend recovering, but you know, it was all in good fun.”

• “I got totally pissed on Saturday and boy was Sunday tough.  It was worth it though, Saturday was great!”

• “Saturday afternoon we had a barbi in the park and you know, after a few beers, I really couldn’t be bothered watching the kids for the rest of the weekend.  You know it’s tough keeping up with them all day when you’ve had a few too many.”

• “I hit the Coronas a bit too hard but what else are you going to do on a hot day?”

• “I was planning on going to Rotto (a local island) for the weekend but after Friday night’s happy hour, I couldn’t make the Saturday morning ferry.”

One of the few exceptions to the above was the head of my group who declared that she had, “found an amazing sounding diet pill from an infomercial over the weekend but then felt a bit like a drug dealer when she went out and bought mass amounts of it to share with all of her friends.”

Oh Anonymous Colleagues, I could overlook your fondness for carrying and using pocket breathalysers, your penchant for wearing heavy wool coats and thick scarves in 20 degree Celsius winters, your love of abbreviating words and adding “o” and “y” endings, and perhaps even your love of meat pies at morning tea, but I’m starting to think that you all have a few roos loose in the top paddock.

And on a sidenote, how can my one other Anonymous American Colleague think I’m Canadian, especially almost a year of working with me?  Perhaps she needs to lay off the alcohol as well, eht?

Hello My Name is Anonymous Expat and I Am Not an Alcoholic

Today I met with my manager (M) for my full-year review.  It was going well, with good feedback, high ratings, and great ideas for next year when to wrap up the discussion, M asked how I’m doing in Australia as a ‘work widow.’  He asked if I have a good support network here and wanted to make sure that I’m not keeping company with a bottle of gin?!?

Maybe this is a weird Aussie way to show interest in employees’ personal lives?  Maybe I should have said yes, but it’s not my husband’s work / life balance that drives me to drink, but my own poor work / life balance due to the ridiculous hours my group is demanded to work.  Perhaps that would have gotten me some time off?

I’m just trying to figure out why M would ever think that unless it was just him being awkward talking about something not work related.  Especially as I:

• Didn’t put forth as a safety share what a good idea pocket breathalyzers are to check whether or not you should be driving home from after work drinks (as another manager in my group actually suggested).
• Didn’t attend the group holiday party where I was told that all of my colleagues drank near their body weights in cheap tequila and danced on the pool table by the bar en masse, in front of the company CFO.
•  Have never come to work hung over or smelling of alcohol (per some Australian colleagues).  Actually, I have never even been hung over in Australia.
• Haven’t come back pissed (aka drunk) from a work lunch with external participants (per some Australian managers).
• Never have more than one or two beers at work happy hours.  Clearly if I don't drink in excess with my coworkers on a weekly basis, it must mean that I drink in excess by myself because no one in WA can drink in moderation.

Maybe you’ve been watching too many episodes of Packed to the Rafters M but my name is Anonymous Expat and I am not an alcoholic.  And if I was, my drink of choice certainly wouldn’t be gin.