Of All The Places

H and I have been talking about getting scuba certified for years.  Now that H has a slightly more predictable schedule, he’s decided that we should finally buckle down and take the course in the United Kingdom.  He sent me the following instant messages this morning:

H: “Check it out, www.anonymousukscubacertification.co.uk”

Me: “Looks great, only problem is that they do the certification training in the North Sea.”

H: “So?”

Me: “The North Sea is icy cold; think how cold your shower was this morning when you ran out of hot water and then multiply that by a thousand.  People are out in shorts and tank tops today because it’s 16 degrees Celsius.  How warm do you think the North Sea actually gets?”

H: “Not warm at all, but then we’ll finally have our scuba certification.  And they’ll provide dry suits so it shouldn’t be too bad.  Not to mention it would be kind of cool to get our certification in the North Sea”

Me: “True, fine.  I’ll do it.  But I want a dry suit that looks like a polar bear costume, white with black paws and a little black nose on my mask.”

H: “Done.”

I know, I know.  Instant message conversations with me most definitely are the highlight of H’s day.

Reason #1,203 Why I’m Sure That H Loves When I Interrupt Him at Work

Because I send messages like the below:

Wife, Anonymous [3:01 PM]: I might be trying and failing dramatically at not making ridiculously sad faces.

H [3:04 PM]: What happened?

Wife, Anonymous [3:05 PM]: My favourite apartment is rented…goodbye beautiful new home.  We will live in a cardboard box full of down and soft things and photographs.  All will be ok.  We can prop our umbrellas on top of the box to prevent rain leaks.

H [3:07 PM]: Hiiii.  I’m sure we will find someplace else that is nice to live.

Wife, Anonymous [3:10 PM]: I know; I just e-mailed one of the hotels to find out how much it costs to live in their penthouse for a year.

Oh yes, did I mention that we’re moving?  Despite the fact that we don’t have an official relocation date, I am already house hunting.  Because obviously rental homes stay available until H and I are ready to move in.  Right?

Let’s Just Ignore that Friends are Supposed to be a Reflection of Oneself

This morning’s instant message conversation with Julz:

Me:  I can’t really be bothered to cook for myself.

Julz: Cooking is never an option unless someone else is doing it… you have to takeout dinner and then slowly work your way down to cereal.

Me:  Complementing a cereal dinner with a nice bottle or two of wine always makes me feel better about it.

Julz:  If you’re doing a white based cereal, then match it with a nice white wine.  If you’re going a more wholemeal cereal, then a red would do the trick.  Maybe a nice merlot.

Me:  I like your cereal wine pairing.  You could be a sommelier.

Julz:  Don’t forget the dessert wine; it’s a really a nice way to cap off a cereal meal.  For a good dessert wine that goes with all cereal types, try Nobel One.

Me:  Is it cane cut or moscato or something else?

Julz:  It has alcohol and is sweet.

Me:  Maybe you shouldn’t change careers quite yet.  Now I could use some wine though and it’s not even 10:00 AM.

Julz: Well, it’s 10:00 PM in New York.

Me: Thanks Julz, I like the way you think.

Julz: No probs.