Getting to Know the Neighbors

I think our neighbor might be a drug dealer.  Either that or he has a major case of ADD.  Multiple times a day, he speed walks to his Bentley (often times carrying a small leather gym bag), whizzes away, and is back five minutes later.  Cycle that sequence on repeat and you have a typical day for Anonymous Neighbor.

I can't even begin to guess what his destination might be other than the fact that a couple of times, I've spotted his car parked at the building immediately next door that is really rundown and almost looks like it could be a crack den if it wasn't on such a fancy street.  Although, after watching Breaking Bad, it could be compared to Jesse's house: really nice house/neighborhood, really shady tenant, substituting the part about the really nice house.

If he's not a drug dealer, than maybe Anonymous Neighbor is selling special vitamins with huge quantities of Vitamin A or self-tanning pills to help his 'friends' obtain the perfect shade of orange that he and his father sport year round.  

Or maybe he's running to move his Bentley under cover at any chance of rain. 

One day I'll have to ask, until then I'll enjoy speculating.

There Are Some Things In Life That I'll Never Understand

One of our neighbors who owns a car like this:

decided that they needed to take the valve caps off the tires of our decidedly less flash car for their own use.  I’m thinking that whoever took our valve caps is either a kleptomaniac or really lazy.  Given that we live down the street from a tire shop, I’m thinking it’s the former.  

If H didn’t check the tire pressure so frequently, I’d be tempted to rub some poison ivy over the next set of valve caps as a present to the neighbour who decides to borrow them.  Instead I guess that I’ll have to resort to either vacuuming or playing loud music very early in the morning, cooking unpleasantly pungent food to perfume the hallways, spreading my junk mail between the neighbors' mailboxes, or getting a guard dog to deter the resident kleptomaniac from actually entering our home (excrement outside neighbors doors and repeated barking would be a side bonus). 

Just kidding, I have neither the time nor the inclination to do any of the above.  Well, I may already distribute my unaddressed junk mail between my neighbors boxes when I don’t feel like taking it to a trash can.  While the Australia Post is terrible at delivering mail that’s actually addressed to us, they do an excellent job of filling our mailbox with Domino’s menus, real estate ads, and mail from about two dozen former residents.   Hey, I’m just trying to share the love.  Who wouldn’t want a special discount on one of Domino’s Biggest Losers’ pizzas?