Aloha Australia

My Mom arrived in Perth and is busy taking in all of the Western Australian sights.  She is:

• Counting the number of visible nipples through men’s button down dress shirts
• Marvelling over the variety of choices in high visibility workwear
• Being in awe about the high frequency of occurrence of viewing high visibility workwear in all types of places including so-called nice restaurants
• Being amazed that beer o’clock is actually every o’clock
• Exclaiming over the cost of everything in WA; did someone say $12 pre-packaged sandwiches, $20+ sit-down lunches and $7 coffees?
• Learning about, watching and enjoying Junior MasterChef; not yet enjoying the viewing pleasure of RBT and Border Security
• Noticing the frequency of shark spotting in the news

She has already decided that she is:

• Not setting foot in any body of water except an enclosed pool
• Not purchasing any clothes in Australia
• Not eating kangaroo

I’ll have to see if I can talk her out of any of the above.  After all, she will be visiting the Great Barrier Reef.  Still to come is some real Australian wildlife viewing and I am not talking about the kind that involves barefoot people in public spaces including malls, restaurants and bathrooms or large men in very short high visibility shorts with high visibility knee socks.  I’m thinking more along the lines of kangaroos, koalas and quokkas.  And maybe somewhere along the way we’ll squeeze in a meat pie tasting along with enjoying the local wines.  

And the Winner Is

In honor of the Emmy Awards which aired live in Perth at 10 o’clock this morning, I’d like to take a minute to recognize some of the weirdest television shows that I have ever seen in my life, all of which are shown on Australian TV.  To be fair, some of these shows originate in the U.K.  Drum roll please…

Border Security- Both the Australian and UK versions are aired here and the show is exactly what the title proclaims it to be: a behind the scenes look at Customs, Immigration and Quarantine departments’ day to day happenings. It films angry people in airports getting screened and arrested for potential drug smuggling, people getting fined for bringing in fruits etc. without declaring it, people getting their tourist visas rejected because it’s feared that they will work illegally and thus they get sent home on the next plane, drugs being uncovered in stuffed animals in mail rooms, illegal immigrants getting busted in housing above ethnic restaurants, and bugs being found in shipping containers (all taken equally seriously).  The show is a serious train wreck, I can’t turn it off once it’s on.  My personal favorite incidents include: the woman caught smuggling drugs in her hair weave, the woman arriving to meet her internet boyfriend after dating him for two weeks online, and the Lebanese couple who tried to bring two suitcases full of fruit, herbs, and spices (some of which was crawling with bugs) into Australia crammed into every square inch of their suitcase, including the insides of their shoes.

Grumpy Old Women- All I can say about this show is WOW, is this for real?  To be fair to Australia, this show comes straight from BBC which summarizes the show as, “a group of middle-aged women grumbling about various aspects of modern life.”  H and I found this while channel surfing and again, train wreck, couldn’t turn it off.  While looking for a clip to attach to this post, I found that this show is a spin-off of Grumpy Old Men AND that the two shows joined forces for Grumpy Old Holidays in which they talk about the irritations connected with holiday making.  Do a YouTube search for this show, please.  You need to see this with your own eyes.  It’s absolutely ridiculous.

RBT- This entire show follows police officers as they pull people over for random breath tests.  I kid you not (although I wish I was joking).  Highlights from the show include the middle aged man who was well over the legal limit the (late) morning after a night of drinking and the guy who when asked if he has ever used illegal drugs said no and when the police officer said that illegal drugs can remain in your system for days after ingestion said well, I might have done some meth yesterday.

To round out my list with a much less trashy show:

Edwardian Supersize Me- This comes straight from the BBC (although perhaps from a few years ago) and has a British comic and food critic ‘going Edwardian’ for the week.  They eat typical Edwardian meals, dress in typical Edwardian dress, and participate in typical Edwardian activities.  At the end of the week, the food critic has gained a significant amount of weight and has done some damage to his cholesterol etc.  Who would have guessed when breakfast included an array of sardines, curried eggs, and cutlets and lunch and dinner had over six courses each (about half meat, half fish and then dessert).  This show was actually incredibly entertaining and I’m going to have to look for the Victorian, Elizabethan, and Roman episodes.

Honestly, I had to stop myself because this list could have continued (Police Dogs, anybody?).  While Australian TV may be bizarre, it sure beats the TV show spread in the Middle East: MTV Arabia (airing shows from well over five years ago on repeat multiple times a day, everyday of the week), French news, Italian news, Arabic news, and U.S. sitcoms from 5-10 years ago.  Good thing I like to multitask while watching TV, otherwise I could be at serious risk of killing brain cells.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have some trashy TV to watch (and a huge stack of books to read simultaneously).